Řezník Vojta se rád napil. Často býval spatřen, jak se v noci z hospody kymácivě potácí do své chalupy na konci vesnice. Vědělo se o něm, že když se opije, rád pojídá různá živá stvoření. Vojta jednou snědl pavouka, který mu spadl do piva se slovy: neškrábej a pojď do mě. S rakem už to tak veselé nebylo. Toho jednou někdo vytáhl z potoka a položil ho před Vojtu na stůl. Ten se nenechal dlouho přemlouvat a nacpal si ho do úst. Doplatil na to. Začal se dávit. Poulil oči a nemohl popadnout dech. Rak mu požahal krk tak, že ho v poslední chvíli jen tak tak odvezla sanitka. V nemocnici ležel několik týdnů připojen na hadičkách. Umělá výživa a klid na lůžku. Pak ho pustili. Jestli si myslíte, že s těmi hujerskými kousky přestal, tak to se mýlíte. Zřejmě to zkouší ještě teď. Pokud je ovšem naživu.
Gagging
Butcher Vojta liked to drink. He was often seen staggering home from the pub at night to his cottage at the end of the village. It was well known that when he got drunk, he liked to eat various living creatures. Once, Vojta ate a spider that had fallen into his beer, saying, "Don't scratch me, come into me." It wasn't so funny with the crayfish. Someone once pulled it out of the stream and placed it on the table in front of Vojta. He didn't need much persuading and stuffed it into his mouth. He paid for it. He started choking. His eyes bulged and he couldn't catch his breath. The crayfish scratched his throat so badly that he was barely taken away by ambulance at the last minute. He lay in the hospital for several weeks connected to tubes. Artificial nutrition and bed rest. Then they released him. If you think he stopped his reckless behavior, you're wrong. He's probably still trying it now. That is, if he's still alive.
